Letter to My Hair

Dear My Hair:

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for the first time I ever used a curling iron myself and developed an addiction to it.

I'm sorry for my at home relaxer, too. And for allowing you to break and break until my hair would not even touch my shoulders anymore.

I'm sorry for the various shampoos and conditioners I cycled through, hoping one would be a miracle for my hair for longer than just one wash. (Wallet, I'm sorry for this too)

I'm sorry for thinking the current trend against sulfates was anything but a trend. I hope you'll understand this one - after all the bad advice I've gotten from hair forums, I thought that was another routine that would just make things worse. Next to nixing relaxer, it's been one of the best things I've done for my hair.

I'm sorry for trusting the wrong people with my hair, and for the horrible salon experiences. Though I've always been finicky about letting people do my hair, I thought that the gamble was worth it and more times than not, it wasn't.

Nobody knows you like I do. Nobody. So...

Thank you for growing. I know I often do things that work against you, like the occasional straightening, but I am working on doing better with that.

Thank you for being curly. It's not that I hated you - I absolutely love the curls - I just didn't know how to treat you before, so you never looked your best.

Thank you for loving water. Nothing is easier or more accessible than water, and it instantly gives you new life. I'm glad I don't have to do hour long moisturizing rituals to get you to spring to life: some water, a little leave in cream and some gel and I'm ready to go, every single time.

Thank you for changing colors and being naturally shiny. Half of the time my hair looks white or silver just because the light bounces off of it so much - and I'm excited to see just how light brown you've gotten. I see I have my mom's hair - and I'm happy about that.

Most of all, thank you for being patient with, and forgiving me. I'm still learning. I still like to play with you, and braid and twist you, and straighten you, and wear hats and headbands and bows and flowers, and I appreciate that you take it all in stride. I know we fight every so often, but those days are getting few and far between. Sometimes I want you to do things you don't want to do, but I'd rather work with and not against you.

I love you, dear hair.

It's been a long road to get here.