FEAR - Part 1, While I Don't Know Any Better

Often, I get the feeling that I'm standing on the edge of a valley. I possess the technical ability and desire to cross to the other side, and to the next level - but there's an invisible wall in my way. Further, it's almost as though a huge vacuum sits behind me, slowly but surely pulling me backward faster than I can move forward.

Reading self-help books, watching motivational videos (such as TED Talks), and attending webinars on gaining success are like cheat codes to getting a few inches forward. They give a little jolt of confidence when I need it, making me feel good for a day or two. 

The depletion of that boost is as taxing as a terrible vodka hangover, the kind where you've got borderline alcohol poisoning, you've vomited every bodily fluid that ever existed in your body, and the mere mention of a drink turns your stomach and sends you into dry heaving convulsions. 

Recently, I encountered a terrifying situation, one that brought me to tears many times while it remained a problem. In the few hours that I had to make things right, I exhibited a bravado that only rears it's glorious head when trapped against the wall, with little way out but charging full speed ahead. It was a combination of a burning flame within my chest, and a lighted path on which I knew I had to travel despite the consequences. During those fleeting, blind moments, nothing matters; the fire within is stronger than any force, and it does not relent until the job is done. And as suddenly as the fingers grip my soul and push it forward, they vanish, hidden until life calls them to service again. 

I wonder what that power is, and how can we control it? 

Grasping it is easy - that's what motivation is all about. The idea is that you hype yourself up enough to ignore the chatter in your brain and all around you. Motivation alone is not very helpful against fear. 

Mind you, I am not referring to fear as it is generally described in media and even in the sciences. We have fancy names for all sorts of specific, tangible fears - even the fear of failure or fear of success - but nothing really describes the fear that I usually feel: the fear of everything, and nothing, all at the same time. It's an intangible fear that can't be neatly packaged into any disorder or phobia. I sometimes wonder if it's really fear at all, but that's what it seems like. It's crippling. It keeps my projects from getting finished for no particular reason; it keeps me from moving upward in the company; it keeps me from reaching out to people just to say hello, even if they've been on my mind. Modern wisdom tells us that the way to face our fears is to do just that - stare them in the eye and face them.

If it were that easy, we would have a world full of fearless people. But we don't. We have a few brilliant leaders who have been able to manipulate that inner drive so much that it took them not only to the other side of the valley, but to other worlds. 

Our world is rapidly improving and changing daily, as a result of these minds. Can you imagine the things humankind could do if people like me, with so much latent energy, could truly and fully control the intrinsic power behind the burning in our chests? 

I smile as I think of how my entire being has latched on this new quest of discovering the key behind this newfound  discovery; I relish the irony of experiencing that unique push as I seek to understand it. I am also excited to see what other secrets I unlock through my research and travels. 

I hope you're ready for this too.

Drinking Red Wine, For Those Who Don't Like Red Wine

The first kind of wine I ever had was a deep, red/purple wine called Mogen David. I snuck in a sip while my mother and grandmother were sleeping when I was about 12 or 13. They always kept a huge handle of it ready, so I figured it must be good.

Blech. Tasted like Satan himself was robbing the moisture and taste out of my mouth, replacing it with a swift kick to the jugular. Why?! Why would anyone drink that stuff?!?!

I STILL don't love red wine, per se. But I've learned to appreciate it, to drink it, and even - dare I say - to enjoy it, somewhat. How did I do it?

First, let me say, I lucked out and got a few bottles of free red wine from my friends. So I had very little to lose.

I drank my first leisure glass while I was playing a video game. I was losing, and figured some liquid courage would go a long way in helping me do better. I had kept the bottle in the fridge and added ice to my glass, so it was nice and cold.

I got a snack, buttered cheesy garlic bread. I figured the cheese taste would balance out the wine (since I didn't have any real cheese laying around at the time - we eat cheese like it goes out of style around here).

Here's the real trick though - I read a review of the particular wine I was drinking while I took a sip. Seeing someone else describe the fruity undertones and flavors I should have been looking for helped focus my mind on those aspects, and not on how horribly dry and bitter it was.

The first few sips were just awful, and I didn't want to finish it, but I couldn't waste that wine. So I persisted. And halfway through the glass, I realized it wasn't so strong anymore. In fact, the bitterness that had plagued me previously was almost entirely gone, and I was simply tasting the yummy fruit aspects of it. I started feeling warm and fuzzy, and happy. I liked this.

Don't let the empty bottle fool you. I'm no connoisseur. I've been drinking red wine for all of two weeks.
I STILL don't know what a cabernet sauvignon is, but I know I kind of like it.

You may find yourself in a circumstance where someone offers you a glass of red wine, and you accept it to be polite (has happened to a friend before). You may be at a party where the host has almost all wine. Maybe you're hanging with friends, and they like it, and rather than spend the money to buy a separate bottle, you choose to drink what they're having. Or, you've heard of the health effects of red wine, and you'd like to drink a little of it for that - but absolutely cannot stand the taste.

Find some food to eat with it - cheese is an absolutely fantastic option. Really, there's a reason places like Binny's have a cheese deli in the wine section. The two go together in a way I can't even describe. If you choose, you can also eat sweet food like chocolate, or bland like a dinner roll; the key is to choose something to balance your palette and cut the bite.

Remember as you're drinking to focus on the fruit and flavors of the wine, and not on the bitterness. Believe me, that part goes away, and before you know it you've drank the whole bottle, the room is spinning, and your head is pounding.

Finally, if you don't like it, don't drink it. I figure if you're reading this, you have some need or desire to like red wine, so this probably won't apply. But if you genuinely aren't a fan of it, can't take it, and/or it makes you sick, stop drinking! The idea is that some people can grow to love it, but some won't and that's okay.

What are your experiences with red wine? Let me know!

Smartphones: An Introduction

You just got a “smartphone”, or will be receiving one soon, no doubt at the bequest of your twenty-something child or even younger grandchild. They rushed to you with eyes sparkling, shoving a brick with brightly colored icons in your face, saying “Here! You need this!”

You remember when phones had a rotary dial, and then buttons. You also remember when they were used primarily for calls. You can’t even find a call button on this thing. Your guide is rattling off about video chats and Facebook and apps (what on earth is an app?!) with thumbs flying furiously across the screen at lightning speed, and you can’t even figure out how the device turns on.

They roll their eyes at you. “It’s so easy!” they say. “Give me that, I’ll show you.” And then they jump from screen to screen, flicking and pushing and turning and tapping. You want to ask how they did that, but you don’t even know what that is, or where to start. You feel hopelessly lost, and don’t even want to look at the thing anymore. You’ll never figure it out.

Stop! You aren’t stupid or slow. And you can figure it out. It just takes time.

See, we of this generation grew up at a time when computers really started taking off for home use. We got to see most of the evolution of cellular phones from a young age, when our minds are most curious and like sponges. During our teenage years, when smartphones became available commercially, we didn’t have anything better to do than sit for hours and hours and explore and play with them. We had the time to master them.

But you come from a different circumstance. You grew up and matured without smartphones or Google, so you know you don’t need one to survive – you’ve done just fine thus far. You’re also busy. You have meetings, conference calls, errands, things to do, work to be done, and you need something that’s just going to work. You don’t have the hours of spare time to sit around trying to figure out this darn thing.

So how can you hope to catch up?

Over the next few weeks to months, I’m going to be posting a series of articles meant to help you figure out the device you have, one step at a time. I am going to start small, with the things you intend to use your phone for like making calls and explaining text messages, and will work my way into the deeper topics (apps, customizing it to make your life easier, etc.). Feel free to skip around and come back for reference as needed, but if you want the full experience, I would suggest going from beginning to end.

If you have any ideas or specific questions you would like for me to discuss, please, do not hesitate to comment below or use the contact form to the right.

If you’re reading this, you’ve already got your foot in the door of the technological revolution. Let’s take that and make it work for you!

Rant Time: Put Up Or Shut Up

I don't want to have to write about this. I would rather be focusing on enjoying my purchase. But I will speak out, since nobody else seems to be doing so. 

Am I the only one getting tired of these horrible console wars? 

I'll put it all out there first, lest you should think I've never participated in any of these. I knew from the moment they said "fantasy football" that I wanted an Xbox. The more they advertised, the more features I knew about, the more I wanted it. When I found out about the new Kinect, it was a done deal. (I LOVED the Kinect for the 360...loved it. Everyone who knows me personally, knows the same. It was a sad day when we got rid of ours)

I have told just about everyone I talk to about this, the same. Because honestly, and let's all be honest here, other than that, there's really no reason to get the Xbox over the PS4. Those are reasons that make the Xbox good for me. But others may not be interested in those things. 

I'm biased, and I know it. Others are biased too, and they have every right to be.

For the most part, I'm okay with that. 

What I'm NOT okay with, is people offering their unsolicited opinions on how useful the technology is, for EITHER console, without ever having used one in real time personal use. No, I don't mean did you play a few minutes of a game in Gamestop. I mean, do you or does someone you know have one? 

If not, where do you get off having an opinion about which one I should have bought? 

This is the internet, where opinions are like assholes, and mine isn't worth any more than the next blogger's. I get that. 

But at what point do the constant arguments over nothing become cancerous? At what point do you not realize, hey, I'm wasting my time arguing when I could be playing? At what point do you realize that you are trying to prove a point to people who have never seen EITHER console, and whose opinions therefore hold no weight whatsoever? 

Let me tell you, the people who actually own consoles have gotten mighty quiet. Kudos to all of you, PS4 or Xbox, kudos. Because you're enjoying what you spent all those hundreds of dollars on, as well you should be. Bravo!

Right now, I'm sitting here blogging. I could be playing Need for Speed or Killer Instinct or Ryse. Or sleeping, since it is a work night. But I'm writing, because this idea infuriates me so that I have to put this out there. 

When future civilizations dig up our electronic records, they are going to see that we spent a year of our lives arguing over what stupid console was better. 

This is the hallmark of American society, ladies and gentlemen. 

Stop it. 

If you have it, enjoy it. Please, review it. Do you like it? Do you not like it? Did you make a good choice? 

If you don't have it, it's time to put up or shut up. Either get a console so you know what you're talking about, or stay out of the conversation when grown ups are talking. 

This whole idea of arguing over something you don't even have is ridiculous. And I'm tired of letting THOSE people be the only voices that anyone ever hears. 

What do you all think? Too much? Was I stupid for even devoting time for this? (that's a rhetorical question, of COURSE I am, I should be sleeping right now. Or playing a game. Or blindly barking commands at my TV. How hypocritical am I right now) 

I hope there's at least one person out there who reads this, though, and nods their head in silent agreement. Indeed, good sir or madam out there. Indeed.